Shopping For Sanity

I recently tried my hand at shopping. My Thai is getting better, at least when it comes to numbers, and I am also getting better with understanding what’s a bargain, and what’s not. I went down to the Seree Market in search of some school supplies, and a few other odds and ends. While I was there, I decided to check out the men’s clothing department. At some point, I know my not-so-white dress shirts for work will be too yellow to serve their function and need to be replaced. I walked through the “department store” trying to feel things out. Now, I would think with the number of backpackers that come through Thailand, the novelty of “white” people would lose its luster. Not so much! They continued to stare at me, as I was constantly bumping my head on the sale signs that were hanging from the ceiling, which coincidentally was only a mere foot above the low-hanging signs. Claustrophobics need not come to Thailand – especially if you are tall. At any rate – staring they were! Fine, I’m white, I’m freakishly tall; stare to your hearts content.

I worked in retail for a number of years. Management, visuals, merchandising, product shipments, you name it and I’ve probably had my hand in it at some point or another during that time. Well, the western world of retail would sooner lose the day of business, than allow one of their stores to be presented in the manner that this store was presented. Let’s start with the aisles – if you can fine them, that is. Unlike my experience with retail, apparently in Thailand they stock the shelves and put out new merchandise during normal business hours. But not any business hours – mid-day on a Saturday. There are some things that are universal – Saturday is a big shopping day whether you’re hear in Thailand, or at Woodfield in Schaumburg, Illinois. I found myself hurdling boxes or quickly darting out of the way of the huge boxes being pushed into the store via a shirtless Thai guy. That’s right – sweaty, shirtless, and let me tell you, I was ready to give the shirt off my back to have most of these men cover themselves up. It was like watching an old man try his hand at Yoga during a hot day in August, in the middle of a crowded store. There’s things you just don’t need to witness.

I wonder into what I think is the men’s department, as they have suits and ties. However, after looking at the items hanging on the racks, I would have thought I was in the little boys department. Everything that was hanging on the rack was so small. I picked up a medium and I thought it had to be someone’s idea of a joke. I quickly scan the area and find another rack, thinking maybe there was a mix-up. Nope – same thing! Alright, let’s try and find a size that will fit my slender torso and gorilla like appendages. No sooner do I begin to look at the sizes, that I have a Thai saleswoman right there next to me. Not even a Sawaddee Ka (Hello). No, no – she’s just standing there staring at me with the “Thai smile” on her face. This was a cultural shock for me, as I am used to Western stores where the sales person is overly friendly, to the point of obnoxious and then you have to kindly tell them you are just looking. I glanced up, smiled back and try to tell her that I am just looking. She continued to smile and still, just stood there. Not knowing what to do, I kept looking through the rack. Mind you, the store is a tight fit to begin with. The fixtures are practically on-top of each other and there is no way this place is compliant with ADA regulations; Let alone fire codes – we’d all be dead! So, here I am thumbing through the rack trying to find a shirt that could fit me, surrounded by racks of clothes and a saleswoman quite literally breathing down my neck as I shop. Oh, this was not going to be pleasant! Still not finding a shirt that is suitable for work, or something that I’m willing to spend my hard earned Baht on, I smiled at the saleswoman and said, “Khob khun” (thank you) and continued on like a fat rat in a mouse’s maze.

I quickly crossed through the loading dock – dodging the old, shirtless men who are bringing in box after box of shipment mid-day. I found myself in what can be best described as the hipster portion of the department store. Here, I am greeted by racks of Levi’s and Wranglers and Lee denim. Who knew Wrangler and Lee were making a comeback? Apparently they’ve found their niche and it’s Thailand. I began to look through the assortment of Levi’s. This is the first time that the Levi’s stitching has been correct. In the market near my house, Levi is being pawned off with bad pocket stitching, incorrect labels, and just plain bad knock-offs – Levi Strauss would be rolling over in his denim grave if he saw these misrepresentations. However, I quickly discovered why they knock-off Levi – he’s worth over 5,000 Baht here! Now, that is comprable to the rate in US dollars, but I’ll wait to get them back in the US. Besides, nothing like trying to find a 32X34 here in Oz.

Another thing I quickly noticed about the Thai culture – they like to over staff their stores. In my days of retail, I can remember when payroll hours were so tight that it was me and one sales associate for 8 continuous hours before there was any relief from staff. And what’s worse – they just stand around and talk with each other. Not folding clothes or helping with putting out the new product that has clearly just arrived. No, just standing and kibitzing with each other, until someone enters their section. As a former retail manager, I’m saying this would not be flying under my regime. But, then again – different culture, different social norms. It made my days of working in retail look like a cake walk – even during those hectic holiday months on Michigan Avenue. That was at least organized chaos!

Feeling defeated and suffocated, I exited the department store. Trying to find my way out was another task. With the sea of boxes and paths being blocked, I had to find my way out another direction. I quickly found myself walking through the grocery store. Yes, that’s correct – get your clothes and food all in a one-stop shop. I realize this is not a unheard of amenity, after all, the US has their Super Wal-Mart or Target Great Lands. However, there was something more odd about this addition to the department store. It’s hard to explain, other than it seemed like a separate entity within the department store. Either way, I quickly exited the store and started back home.

I’ve quickly learned that shopping for clothes here could lead to a distorted body image and the feeling of being a fat guy in a little country. It will certainly test your sanity levels and magnify any body-conscious issues you have, perceived or otherwise.