A Week In Translation

It has been one week since I first arrived in Lampang. It seems like an eternity ago that I was still living in Chicago, packing my things up and preparing myself for this experience. Seven days, and I have managed to experience such an arrange of emotions, but realize that is only the tip of the rice patty. Seven days, and I have already learned so much, but realize there is so much more to learn. Seven days, and I have had my world turned up-side-down, but I realize that shaking things up a bit is what makes me feel alive.

During the past week, I have a learned a few things. For instance, I have learned that kids, regardless of age or culture, have no filter when it comes to speaking what is on their mind. Over the course of the past week, I have been told that I have “thick eyebrows,” as well as “very hairy arms.” A student has also pointed out that I am “wet” – she was referring to the perspiration on my brow. I can only hope that when I begin to get fat and start balding, the students will have the same lack of filter and bring these to my attention as well.

I have also learned that “checking someone out,” “eyeing someone up,” “scoping someone out,” or whatever the lingo in your culture – it is all the same. It does not matter if you are at a gay bar in the states, at an airport in Korea, or walking down the street in a small Thailand town – someone checking you out is all the same. In fact, I would argue that it is more blatant here in Thailand. I also understand that some United States cultures would consider it rude to stare or shamelessly flirt with a stranger on the street – it’s the type of behavior some associate with that of street walkers, call-girls, prostitutes, whores, sluts, tricks, houseboys, and a host of other colorful descriptions for individuals who engage in such behavior. You want your confidence level boosted? Come to Thailand, where it seems most women are searching for a Ferang and will do anything to score one. This adds to a host of other dirty looks you will receive from the Thai males, who believe you are there simply to steal the Thai women from them.

With that, I have also learned that “homo” does not translate in the Thai culture. While I’m not a screaming queen in the United States, I am hardly what you would identify as butch (my friends will concur). Also, I tend to have difficulties spotting another “mo” when I’m abroad. But here, unless you are a man wearing make-up, they assume you are interested in females. Talk about feeling like the only living gay boy in Lampang – yikes!

I have learned that Thai is a sing-song language, and if you are off-key by only one note – the natives have no idea what you are talking about.

I have learned that I am tone deaf, and therefore have a difficult time with the Thai language.

I have learned that calling someone a buffalo is the worst insult you can make about an individual. It is considered the slowest, dumbest animal in all of the animal kingdom, and a great offense if you call someone this.

But most importantly, I have learned that however foreign all of it feels to me – it is going to translates into an amazing experience.