Guns or Butter

Growing up in my house, I remember two distinct things: One, we were never allowed toy guns -- not even squirt guns; Two, my mother always kept a well stocked supply of butter in the freezer. I was always envious of my friends who could have toy guns, and even as a kid I found it strange that we were never allowed to play with toy guns. I remember my friends and I had to be very inventive if we decided to play "war" at my house, because my 'gun cabinet' included a very flexible Barbie doll, a cook spoon, and an old T-ball stand -- sans home plate. I never could get my parents to tell me why we were not allowed to play with guns, it was simply an unexplained rule. As for the butter, that remained a mystery -- until just recently.

Years later, when I was studying to be a future CPA (Certified Personal Assistant), I found myself taking the usual business courses, which included micro & macro economics. To this day, I couldn't tell you the difference between the two courses, but my inner writer guesses that it has something to do with the scope of your studies -- very big verse very small. The other thing I remember about these courses is that the professor always used the analogy of guns versus butter to help illustrate the law of supply and demand. Being the self-taught know-it-all that I was as a sophomore in college, I knew without a shadow of doubt that the correct answer was always butter. After all, I grew up in a house where we were without guns but always well stocked in butter, and our household economics seemed to run just fine on that principle -- why would this change for the rest of the theories of economics? It wasn't until I received a failing grade on my midterm in microeconomics, that I quickly discovered that maybe I needed to rethink my approach, as well as my upbringing. In any case, I barely passed the course and to this day I will always choose butter as the correct answer for any multiple choice test.

Since I've been in Thailand, I've discovered that it is difficult to satisfy my one true craving in life -- dark chocolate. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- never trust a warm weathered country when it comes to producing chocolate. Mark my words, you will be disappointed. The same rule of thumb applies to vodka and the converse is true of cigarettes. Know these things before you begin your travels -- it will save you the hassle of having a bad taste in your mouth.

My family knows about my obsession with chocolate -- heck, it's ingrained in all of us. I'm told it comes from the fact that my mother lived on Peanut M&M's and Twizzlers during our gestation periods. I tell myself that there must have been a Twizzler shortage in '81 because I only have the chocolate addiction. I'm not even swayed by chocolate Twizzlers -- just give me my chocolate! This addiction has only been made worse by the fact that I live in Thailand where chocolate is hard to come by and usually always disappointing. To be quite honest, chocolate in Thailand always tastes a bit like waxy dirt.

Since my stint here in Thailand, my family has been gracious enough to send me care packages, which inevitablly include dark chocolate. They were cautious about sending me the first batch, fearful that it might be a gooey melted mess when it arrived. After successful completion of the first parcel during the hot season, each package thereafter contained a little amount of chocolate, and I learned to ration. It became a game of mathematics & economics, supply and demand; dumping out all the chocolate pieces on my bed, counting out each piece of chocolate, determining the number of possible days I could have chocolate, until the inevitable day that I might run out. Each parcel was like Halloween, except this time I couldn't afford to gorge myself those first few days.

By the time Christmas arrived, I was almost fresh out of chocolate. My calculations were correct, and I was down to 2 lonely little pieces in my refrigerator. Sure enough, parcels began arriving the week before Christmas, and it truly was a chocolate fountain. This year, my Christmas presents included books and dark chocolate. After I opened all my parcels, my next step was making room in my refrigerator for all the chocolate. It was at this point that I realized why our house was always so stocked with butter -- you should never need to ration something that is a necessity in your life. As for the lack of guns -- well, that's still a mystery to me. As for my lesson in economics this holiday season -- Chocolate is always in demand!